Combat Humor
- author unknown
1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
2. Incoming fire has the right of way.
3. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
4. There is always a way.
5. The easy way is always mined.
6. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
7. Professionals are predictable, it is the amateurs that are dangerous.8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions
a. when you are ready for them.
b. when you are not ready for them.
9. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
10. If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.
11. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
12. If your attack is going too well, you have walked into an ambush.
13. Never draw fire, everyone around you gets mad.
14. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
15. Make it real tough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.
16. Never share a foxhole with someone braver than yourself.
17. If you are short of everything except the enemy, you're in the combat zone.
18. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
19. Never forget that our weapons are made by the lowest bidder.
20. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
21. When in doubt, empty your magazine.
22. All five second grenade fuses will go off in three seconds.
23. Important things are always simple.
24. Friendly fire.......isn't.
25. No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.
26. Marine math 2 beers times 39 Marines is 49 cases.
27. Body Count Math 2 VC plus 1 chicken and 3 pigs equals 37 enemy killed in action.
28. Things that must be together to work, can't be carried in the field that way.
29. Radios will always wait to fail until you need fire support.
30. Tracers work both ways.
31. If you take more than your share of objectives, you will be given more than your share of objectives to take.
32. Murphy was a grunt.
Copyright © 1998 Korean War Veterans National Museum and Library